Drive & Dine

Hmmm, a journey to lunch in a hot car? Heck yes I’m in! Who wouldn’t want to ride with a professional driver over an awesome winding road during the most perfect late-summer afternoon to dine?

When I arrive at the lot, however, I am skeptical of the indicated choice. Then the enticement-

“You know, Ken said if he could only drive one car for the rest of his life, this is the one.”

My interest in all things Ken is widely known. And easily exploited.

Taking the bait; at least, I think, I am protected from “innovative” design. Besides, (I add with the inside the head voice) it’s an exceptional opportunity to enjoy the day -and there’s lunch to consider.

Silly me.

I can unconditionally state the Audi S5 4.2 Quattro with 6-speed manual transmission is unpretentious and enjoys the air. Further than that, I plead the 5th.

No details of the actual journey will be divulged. Not even a little bit because the whole of the drive is reflected in every aspect and to tell the least part would not only be indiscreet, but would provoke jealousy and potentially invite official inquiry.

Arriving at the pub in a very good mood, actually silly and moving towards outright foolish, we belly-up to the bar. I interrogate the establishment on signature dishes and the chef’s theory.

The Main Street Pub in Clifton – convivial and tolerant, Christie and Kevin are warm and easy going.
Note to Jay-cook good food well, excellent theory. The cheese steak delivers.

Audi S5 for the perfect drive and dine.

Dear 750i, Sorry

The Audi S8 is the best sedan I have ever driven.  And I am astounded.

Maybe I shouldn’t be, a lot of people love Audi, I just haven’t been one of them.  Having lived in interesting times with an old Fox, I have some irrational prejudices against the marque.

Full disclosure; past comments about Audi have included slams against styling (body looks like it was lifted from last years Mercedes line-up), interior design (awkward, clumsy and easily bruised) and power (too-little-too-late turbo).

While I bow to Audi’s superior all-wheel drive engineering, even that system results in a subtle but constant nagging steering wheel vibration.

Whatever – All that is so yesterday.  Today I am totally in love.

The normally aspirated 10-cylinder Lamborghini Gallardo engine doesn’t roar, too sophisticated.  The car gets you to where you were planning on going before you decided to get there, with 450 hp, 398 lb-ft of torque I was moved like digital information.

Extraordinarily smooth shifts through the automatic transmission are so refined I had to verify the S8 is not equipped the twin-clutch DSG system.

And the interior!  Ergonomic heaven, everything is in its best place.  The driver’s seat is so comfortable I thought it may be no good for a full size adult.  Checking in with John, he confirmed that his 6’3” frame fit just as beautifully.  Driving in varying traffic conditions for over three hours from the burg to the village to the city and back didn’t even begin to work my body.

I particularly love the extra thigh support, an old knee injury normally aggravating after a couple of minutes in stop and go traffic never even checked in.  And the leather didn’t fall apart under the stress of fashionably adorned denim. 

The leather steering-wheel finished with subtle contrast stitching looks good and feels better.  An expanse of warm wood the dash is clean and reassuring with classic chrome gauge bezels.  And everything that isn’t covered in leather is covered in a yummy sueded fabric.

Dear S8, thanks for the memories.  All my love, H

fun

When the weight of the world started to crush my soul, I decided a convertible might lighten my load.

Which in turn caused me to wonder…why would I think that?  Subsequently responding (to myself) –because I always have fun driving a convertible. 

And then took a casual survey to see if others felt the same way.  Survey responses indicated, yes, convertibles are inherently fun.    Empirical data, however, is scarce. 

In an effort to discover if these informal accounts are indicative of a universal truth, I decided to open a formal investigation.

Hypothesis: convertibles are inherently fun

To test this hypothesis I needed an objective test to measure a subjective experience.  And also, I needed the use of a convertible.

First design a rigorous experiment to meet the demands of scientific inquiry.  Thanks to google I nabbed a template from some university I found online and built the following framework of inquiry.

Goal – the objective of doing the study.  Easy enough; to determine the impact of convertibles on fun

Model – any and all abstractions of what is being studied or manipulated.  Okay.  Abstractions of fun…according to www.dictionary.com :

Fun

1. something that provides mirth or amusement: A picnic would be fun.

2. enjoyment or playfulness: She’s full of fun.

3.  joke; kid.

4. of or pertaining to fun, esp. to social fun: a fun thing to do; really a fun person.

5. whimsical; flamboyant: The fashions this year are definitely on the fun side.

Data – observations made to represent “nature” for testing the model.  …whuh?

Next, find a convertible – Luckily Ken approved my use of a BMW 335ci hard-top convertible providing the critical element.  Even top-up this car is fun – sport, premium and cold weather packages, comfort access, park distance control, navigation and logic 7 sound system create l’atmosphère trés jolie.

Initiating the experiment, the following was observed:

Getting into the convertible I was thinking about my route; and wondering if I had sufficient gas…did I leave my project notes at the office… what would it take to get an extension on my taxes… as the roof retracts and spring sunshine bathes me in warm light  I remember to breathe.

Stirring the silent morning with a thrust of the BMW 335ci’s twin turbo, my concerns evaporate until all that remains is getting my hair into a ponytail holder at the next light.

When that light turns green that last care disappears and I am free.  Roaring down the open road eases all the tensions built-up from the unyielding constraints of commuting – my youthful vigor returns in a rush.

Stopping for a nosh, I enjoy the denizens checking out my ride through the café window.  It’s literally a head-turner.  Approaching the car to leave, a fellow stops me to ask about cup-holders.

Arriving at my destination with a light heart and a sense of play, I am restored.

Evaluation – Comparing the observational data to the model criteria:

1. something that provides mirth or amusement – yes (launching away from first traffic signal)

2. enjoyment or playfulness – yes (roaring down the wide open road)

3. joke; kid – yes (see cup-holders)

4. of or pertaining to fun, esp. to social fun – yes (while enjoying the café crowd)

5. whimsical; flamboyant – yes (stirring the silent morning)

Conclusion – Convertibles are inherently fun.

When John greets me and asks “How was your drive in today?”  Smiling, I respond  “Fun; thanks for asking.” 

If the weight of the world is crushing your spirit, consider the convertible cure, it worked for me.

have a cigar

I tend to shy away from the 7 series (with exception of the Alpina B7, from which I am regularly shooed), partly because I’m intimidated by big sedans.  And also partly because they don’t look fast.

Except the Alpina, which looks Very Fast.  And I’m kind of about looks – I know…I’m working on it.

The BMW 7series are unquestionably handsome; and having been conveyed most luxuriously as a passenger, I can also attest to the sumptuousness of travel.  But as a driver I seek a different kind of adventure.

As I was being shooed from the Alpina, and halfway in a snit, I was snit-errupted by the beautiful ivory interior of a nearby 750Li.

So I drove that home.  Then downtown.  Then I took the long way back to the dealership.

The Standard Equipment list is long; extra’s include active ventilated front seats, heated front & rear seats, sunshades and most importantly, on this cold night, a heated steering wheel.

The massage feature was a great thing on the longer road trip to which I was inspired.  I wasn’t feeling beat-up and raggedy and that was so wonderful I barely had time to be impressed that I repeatedly checked my safety belt to ensure that I had it on.  I hate wearing seatbelts, they cut and tug and make my life generally miserable.  I don’t know what the engineering is, but I’d like to see more of it.

And what I imagined about the acceleration and handling was dead wrong, it doesn’t feel big or sluggish or have crazy body roll – and people are interested.   Parked at a fundraiser featuring the Loudoun Symphony, the car drew passersby  murmuring approval.

Ultimately driving the 750Li is immensely satisfying, and I got to feel like what I imagine a big man with a cigar feels.

“Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar.  You’re gonna go far, you’re gonna fly high,
You’re never gonna die, you’re gonna make it if you try; they’re gonna love you.” – Pink Floyd

Get Well Soon Pauline

We miss you; and visiting hours just aren’t enough.

Back from the farm

“Ain’t been no peace in the barnyard
Since my little red rooster’s been gone”  - Willie Dixon

I’ve just returned from a month on the road.  There is plenty say, but not today.   Tomorrow maybe. 

PS: only good things can be said about the mini cooper S – loud and proud in a tight little package.  Sticky too.

Mid-life Crisis

I’ve wanted to take the Atlantic blue 650i coupe out since I saw it at the Adesa sale with Ken.  But first the certification had to be completed, and then my schedule got crowded and finally I got the chance.

Arriving late to the dinner party wasn’t planned, but it did give my friends a chance to gather for my arrival.  And comment.

Among the proliferate exclamations of appreciation for the general quality of the marque, excitement for the design, and thrill at the exhaust note, I distinctly hear “mid-life crisis” as I walk through the door.

First of all, I am not in “mid-life”; secondly; this is unquestionably a sports car for the adult.

Precise handling is not necessarily an impediment to practical considerations such as comfort and ample trunk space.  And acceleration…who knew it could be enjoyed without turbo lag?

The growly 8-cylinder is powerful, and mated to the 6-speed manual transmission it is perfect for hugging the tight, twisting curves of the piedmont. 

And there is definitely room for the occasional +2.

Mid-life Crisis?  Averted.

Dear Chrissie

Thank you for a decade of service, your efforts have contributed to our growth and success.  Your accomplishments are remarkable, regularly going beyond necessity to create inventive solutions, your expertise as an administrator will be missed.

We plan, however, to continue to enjoy your friendship. If you ever feel lonely in San Diego we would like you to know you are loved.

Dear Chrissie; • Every time I come in and pass your desk to say good-morning, I’ll miss you. –Troy • You are always very helpful to me. – Ron • Peace and love Chrissie. – Glenn • Good luck, we’ll miss you. – Brittany • God bless you and your family. I wish the best for you. – Dario • Beloved Chrissie, this is not a farewell, I’ll see you again in the west coast or here. Best wishes for you and my friend Vincent. – Donald • You’re free! – Jeff • You made it girl and I am right behind you! When you see three crazy blondes walking down your garden path it’s me, Bonnie and Britt. Love ya millions – will miss ya more. – Pauline • We’re gong to miss you – the glue that holds us together. – Bryan • Good luck, we’re going to miss you. – Kathy • I don’t even know you. – Justin • Bye. – John Jean • Have fun in San Diego – we’ll miss you, come back soon. – Wilson • Good to know you. – Jason • Good luck in San Diego, enjoy sunny California. – Kevin • Congratulations, you escaped…lucky you. – Mike • Good luck, we will always remember you, you’re the best. – José • It was good knowing you for the 4 months I’ve been here. Good luck. – Danny • There is so much I want to say…how helpful you’ve been over the past few years…you will be missed. – James • Chrissie- There is so much to say and not enough paper. I will try to make it short. Thank you for your professional and personal support through the years. We have been through a lot together these last few years and have grown into a wonderful friendship. I am so happy for you and Vince! I love it when people can live out their dreams. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I am going to miss you- Princess of quite a lot!!!! Enjoy sunny California!!!!! – Bonnie • Though it is fantastic that you and Vince are able to pursue your dream, I am having Nightmares thinking of you not being here. Just remember how treasured you are and of course to plant, harvest and fertilize!-Sean • Always helpful, best of luck in Kalifornia! – Grant • DEADLINE for inupt: January 10th – John Tisch • There are no words to express how much you’ve meant to the success of the company. You are truly the rare “diamond” in a business world of lesser gems. Your contribution here will be missed but never forgotten. Congratulations on San Diego. – Ken

In the lanes at Adesa

I was overwhelmed by the environment.

The parking lot is massive, the building is massive, the noise – massive, masses of people rush en masse.

Beset and arriving late, I learned the BMW financial services sale was about to start in Lane 1.  Hurrying to the area indicated by a large Lane Entrance sign: Access Denied!

Returning to the main lobby to explain my situation to the gentleman at the information booth, “um, I am really late…” 

With two more guarded check-points to clear, thank-you everyone at Adesa for your professionalism and efficiency in getting me into the sale.

Ken had received authorization earlier; I caught up with him and my VIP pass.

Sidebar: Do not let the sunny pictures fool you.  I recieved them as a gift from Adesa.  When the guard delivering me to Ken asked if I had any cold weather gear, I thought odd.  Upon considering my outfit of knee high snow boots, hooded ski parka, and thick, lined gloves; I felt sufficiently prepared.

I was worried enough to ask Ken if it was terribly cold when the lane doors opened.  He confirmed that it is brutal, but he was only wearing a jacket (gloves stuck out of the way in a pocket), was bare-headed and in sneakers.  Soon I got to feeling a tad over-warm.

Then the doors rolled up and the wind whipped through bitter and hateful.  I was suddenly in the napalm of cold.  Nuns were openly cursing – a bone chilling frigid misery encompassed everything and the sale started.

The cold was only somewhat mitigated by the appearance of the ring man; this day he was female, which shouldn’t have been surprising, but apparently I was actually expecting a male ring man.  Anyway: the ring man is responsible for managing the flow of cars and bids over the block.  Efficient and direct, her movements fascinated.

Until the auctioneer captured my attention.

It has been said a picture is worth a thousand words, and that may be true.  Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of him, but if I did, you would totally be like – Yes! Exactly; here is what an auctioneer (male of the species type) looks like in my imagination.   Exuding confidence and sincerity, inspiring really.  I wish I had that picture.

Or a video, he was expert at making auctioneer sounds. 

Apparently these sounds are interpreted and understood by the dealers via miracle.  The general racket in the lane is astounding.  Cars driving through what is essentially a tunnel, the scrum of dealers bidding, the call of the auctioneer, all multiplied by 6 because that is how many sale lanes are running through simultaneously.

Before the sale, after Ken reviews the auction list, inspects the available inventory, (below freezing last night) considered bid strategies (an entire field of art by itself), inspected the cars that are added to the sale at the last minute (0-dark-thirty today) and verified vehicle information.  He does this before every sale, often twice a week.

All of this preparation would be useless without his knowledge and experience.  Bidding on 13 cars, he wins 9 – including a remarkable 650 Coupe I’m looking forward to reviewing.

In your face SUV!

William Ernest Henley knew.

Brimming with joy, an immense grin plastered on my face, you may have seen me under a bright umbrella this morning shopping at the DuPont Circle Farmers Market.

Noticing my abundant delight, a fellow marketer wondered aloud as to the cause. Blaming the 6- speed manual transmission, twin-turbo six-cylinder, all-wheel drive BMW sport wagon, I suggested the 535xit may be the ideal transportation for optimal household management.

Concurring that may indeed be the case; we parted at the bread line.

Plenty of easily accessed cargo space, room for the dog, the teenager, the groceries and the toilet repair kit.  From the ‘burg to the city, not a slip, skip or slide; this car sticks to the road.

That’s right wintry mix – I am the master of my fate.